Decisions, Decisions…

You know the saying, “hindsight is 20/20″?  There have been so many times in my life when I have looked back on particular events and have seen God’s work in my life.  It was so evident sometimes, I wondered why I couldn’t have seen His handiwork when the event was taking place?!  Well, over the course of this past month, I’ve been able to witness God at work in my life so clearly, it has been amazing and unsettling.

For a quick moment, I’m going to go back to 2008-2009.  For a time, I was teaching in the classroom, involved in my Master’s program, head football coach at my high school, and making a transition to leave the classroom and go into administration (oh, and trying not to let my faith, marriage, and children fall by the wayside).  It seemed as if I was barely keeping my head above water.  I can point to a specific time when I became aware that I was drowning and needed help.  It was August of 2009 and I was giving my first devotional, as a new Principal, to my faculty.  I didn’t even get through my opening prayer when I broke down in tears and started weeping.  I even remember the words I spoke before I couldn’t go on…”Jesus, I need you.  I can’t do any of this without your help.”  I fully believe that the Holy Spirit, at that moment, enveloped me in His love.  I was at a point when I knew that my reliance upon God and His Word is what makes me who I am, and guides me in what I do.  In time, I had stepped away from coaching and finished my Master’s program.  Everything seemed to  slow down and get to a pace that was comfortable for me.

Fast forward to May of 2011…Another moment in my life when I’ve had to completely rely upon God and His Word for guidance.  My school has gone through some rough years due to our nation’s economic struggles.  I came to a point where I felt a “nudge” to be pro-active and test the waters (important note: in no way was I testing God).  This is where it may get a little confusing.

Did I feel that my job was in jeopardy?  No.  So why go out and look for a job (especially when times are tough, and finding another job in the Christian school “market” would be extremely difficult)?  I wasn’t looking for a promotion.  I wasn’t looking for more money.  I didn’t even fear that I would lose my job had the school continued in it’s decline in enrollment, and subsequently, limited teaching/administrative positions.  What was the “nudge”?  To be very honest, I don’t know.  My wife and I prayed together, and as we have done before, stepped out in faith, and sent out my resume to a school in Oregon.  I only sent out one resume, to one school.  We continued in prayer in the following days.  Our prayer consisted of our Heavenly Father opening and/or closing doors on either side of the California-Oregon border.  We want to live our lives according to His ultimate plan for our family.  Should we be open to move again, to another state, again?  In just a few days, I was contacted by the school in Oregon and asked to fill out their application, and set up to have a phone interview with their school board and search committee.  So much had happened in just a few days time.  What my wife and I had to do was slow down, pray, and search the Scriptures for God’s guidance in this situation.  Do we stay or go?  The questions started to fly!!  Pros, cons, what-ifs, maybe this, maybe that, holy schmoly we could be uprooting again and moving to another state!  However, in this time of confusion, our Lord gave us the scriptures that we needed to seek His will for our lives. In fact, the most profound scripture that God gave me to settle my mind and spirit, came to me while I was in the bathroom.  I know, that’s a little weird, but hang in there.  In the bathroom that I was using, there is a wallpaper border with scripture references on it.  I’ve read them lots of times, but this time the Lord said, READ THIS CAREFULLY!

“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10

I’m going to rephrase this passage in the way that I heard it…”Cameron, shut up and listen.  I’m the Creator of the Universe.  I know what I’m doing.  Just read my Word, meditate upon WHO I AM, and I will give you the desires of your heart.”  Wow, the desires of my heart!  Now I gotta go and figure out what those are.  I have God’s breath in my lungs, a roof over my head, a Beautiful wife who loves me, supports me, and would follow me to the ends of the Earth, three amazing kiddos, food in the fridge, a wonderful job, and colleagues and friends that I can truly call my “family”.  Should I go on?!  However, I have an overwhelming desire to serve my God in any capacity,wherever He may want me to go.

So hear is the “end” result.  What I’ve learned in my adult life as a Christian is that God will speak to you through many different ways; His Word, a pastor, friends, family, wallpaper in the bathroom.  For goodness sakes, He used a donkey to speak to Balaam in Numbers 22!  If we allow ourselves to just slow down, or even STOP, and listen, God will provide us the the direction we need to make the proper decisions in this life.  He knows exactly what we will do in life, but allows us to make decisions so that we can understand how much we need to rely upon Him.  He provides us all we need to know in Jeremiah 29:11 (The Message):

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”

Thank you Jehovah Shalom!  Amen and Amen!  SELAH!

So, you’re probably wondering, “Well, what did you decide?!”

My answer…

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5 thoughts on “Decisions, Decisions…

  1. Cares says:

    Love your heart.
    Love your honesty and ability to be transparent.
    Love your overwhelming desire to follow God.
    Love your obedience.
    Love your wife and kids.
    DON’T LOVE THE CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!

    Like

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